DEALING WITH SETBACKS
Setbacks are hard. Sometimes the better things have been in the past, the harder they are. This is because not only are you dealing with the actual setback, but you are dealing with feelings of shock or disappointment that things have not gone the way you had been expecting them to.
2020 has been a lesson for all us in setbacks- setbacks are painful.
Hear from Jack & Hugo
Hugo discusses with Jack the types of setbacks he has faced, and the strategies he has used to move on.
Moving Forward...
Acknowledge to yourself how you are feeling and remind yourself that whatever you are feeling (sadness, fear, anger, jealousy are all very typical emotional responses) is ok and normal and part of being a human being. Trying to just stop feeling the way you do is not going to help, but will just drive the feeling underground. If you do this, the feeling will come out in another way, like when you find yourself screaming at your mum because she asked you to put your washing away.
In helping yourself deal with intense feelings of sadness, or loss or anger resulting for setbacks are:
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Allow yourself a time limited period in the day to feel sad. Say to yourself for half an hour I will feel sad, look at pictures of person you are sad about/ write down feelings in a journal, come see the school psychologists for a chat, whatever helps you to feel what you in the feeling. But at the end of that time it is important to put the feeling away and distract yourself.
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Practice gratitude- write down or even just think about 3 things each day for which you are grateful.
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Do something nurturing a kind for yourself, - call someone who makes you feel good, watch some funny stuff on YouTube, go for a run/walk/ride, cook something at home.
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Look after yourself and be nice to yourself as you would to a mate who was going through something, as much as you might be tempted to eat a pack of chips or ginormous block of chocolate, actually try to be nice to your body and eat something healthy, go outside, wear something that you know suits you, make sure you get enough sleep.
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Think about what you now understand and have learnt from the set back and how you are actually stronger and wiser from the experience, and can use what you have learnt to help others. Seeing a psychologist or counsellor is a good way to do this, but also talk to others who have gone through the experience- it may not be the same but we can all learn from and support each other to get through the hard things in life.